3 Early Dating Warning Signs
Yes, you have to date before you get married and when you get married. However, there are some early dating warning signs to look out for while dating to help you avoid some unnecessary damage.
1.) When Spending Time Doesn’t Seem To Be Priority
Whether they are local or long distance, spending time should be a top priority. If you find yourself not talking to them for 1 day or days at a time, that is a major red flag. I don’t care how busy they say they are. A person makes time for what they want. How can you really get to know each other or grow in a relationship without spending time?
If you find yourself wondering what’s taking them so long to call back or even respond to texts very late on a consistent basis when you know they have full access to their phone, that’s a red flag. When they do respond to the text, if they are nonchalant about it, that’s another red flag.
If getting to know you is not a priority for someone you’re getting to know, you need to get to know someone else! You’re clearly not priority enough for them. This is not a game that you’re in. This is real life, and you’re working towards getting to the right 1. The sooner you can recognize the wrong 1, the better.
When a person is truly passionate about something it is obvious. Yes, they may have some interest in you, but some interest is not enough! It needs to be enough interest not just to get your attention but enough to keep it. If other interests in people or things are occupying their time, they don’t deserve your time!
2.) When You Are Doing All The Work
If you seem to be the one putting forth more effort, and they seem to be nonchalant except for when they are talking about how attracted they are to you, that’s a problem. It takes work to build a relationship. It’s like building a house. You go piece by piece.
If you’re doing the majority of the calling, texting, planning, etc., that’s a problem. If you aren’t getting any quality out of the situation, you need to take a serious step back or even be completely out. Don’t fall for the line, “Well, we are still getting to know each other.”
Yes, you are still getting to know each other and there is no rush. However, when they are acting like you have forever to see the direction things are going in, that is going way too slow. You don’t rush into a relationship, but you should see measurable results along the way. How has it grown over the past couple of months?
Seeing potential is not enough. You can meet anyone and see potential. What you need to ask yourself is, “Does this seem to be progressing or does it seem like we’re at a standstill?” Are you going around in circles?
It takes 2 people on 1 accord going in the same direction when it comes to building in relationships. If you do all the heavy lifting all the time, you will burn out, be frustrated, and will only get excuses from them making you feel like something is wrong with you. It’s not! You’re just doing all the work, and that’s a major red flag.
3.) When They Don’t Honor Your Expectations and Standards
You have expectations and standards for a reason. It is to help protect you. Expectations help give you a roadmap on where you’re trying to go and standards help maintain and uphold those expectations. You should have expectations as you are getting to know someone. You are on the path towards marriage. So, if you and them aren’t on the same page there, that’s a red flag.
It doesn’t mean you’re getting married tomorrow, but your plan is to get there 1 day. You need to know that this individual has the same goals along the path. Prayerfully, before you are on the path too long, you will identify if they are the 1 for you or not.
Guess what? They could be the 1 for you, but circumstances, decisions, etc., can change that as well. It still takes work. It still takes prayer. It still takes fighting against the enemy who doesn’t want you to get with the 1 or stay with the 1.
Your standards are important. If they constantly trying to get you to lower your standards rather than respect it or even take it up a notch, that’s a problem. They respect you by respecting your standards. Not only that, but you shouldn’t be the only 1 with quality standards.
If their standards are so low compared to yours, that’s something else to look out for. As a matter of fact, if it’s that low compared to yours, they are not even on your level. So, that’s likely a time waster. It doesn’t matter how attractive they are physically, intellectually, etc.
In the meantime, continue to stay on the path. Continue to pray. Continue to fight against the enemy that is fighting against you. You will get to the right 1. You just need to look out for these signs to avoid the wrong 1 wasting your time.
As always, remember that you are Single For 1! That is all for now.
Your Relationship Advisor,