3 Things To Do To Avoid Someone Wasting Your Time

August 4, 2016 at 9:00 am


Dating can and should be fun when it’s not casual but with a purpose. Sometimes there can be a thin line between casual dating and dating with a purpose. You would think it wouldn’t be, but some people make it seem like it is purposeful even though they’re not all in. So, I have included 3 things to do to avoid someone wasting your time.


1.) Ask Them What Their Plans Are Pertaining to a Relationship

This can be a bit tricky because they can say something to make you feel it’s going in one direction when it’s not. They can say something like, “We’ll see where it goes.” “Let’s just give it some more time.” “I don’t know yet because I don’t want to rush anything.”


All of those statements are perfectly understandable in itself. However, if you are months in and they’re still using the same line, that is a major red flag. I don’t like to put time limits on things, but things should be much clearer at 3 months.  It doesn’t take someone long to know if they want to pursue a relationship. If you’re already talking and interacting as though you’re in a relationship then those statements no longer hold up in court. Make no excuses for them.


I’m not saying you’re ready to walk down the aisle after 3 months, but I’m saying that if you’ve invested time in someone for 3 months, there should be more than “we’re still trying to get to know each other more.” Yes, you will continue to get to know each other, but you shouldn’t be operating as though you’re in a relationship but simply missing the title as a back pocket excuse for an exit strategy. Saying, “well we’re not in a relationship” is bogus if you’re interacting as though you are.


At the end of the day, they either want a relationship with you or they don’t. Of course, it goes without saying that you want it to be God led. The sooner you know they aren’t the 1, the better. Yes, even in God led situations, sometimes 1 individual doesn’t see it or get it. They may be in another state of mind and could miss what God wants in that moment. That is not your problem. God can and will replace if necessary. He doesn’t love you or them any less. However, His timing is His timing for what He wants you and the 1 to accomplish in the earth.


If they don’t show a true promise to commitment, you need to pull back and pull back quickly. Don’t put your feelings in front of the Holy Spirit when you’re dating! You know when something isn’t right. He gave you discernment for a reason. Not only that, but it helps to know if that individual even wants a relationship. If they say they don’t want one or are not ready for 1, believe them.


2.) Monitor How Much Time and Attention They Give You

I’m not saying that they need to contact you all day around the clock. However, there should be enough time and attention that satisfies you. Don’t start making excuses or falling for their excuses. A person makes sufficient time for what they want regardless of the schedule. If they tend to go to sleep early, I assure you they will try to fight sleep many nights to stay up to talk to you.


Either way, they will make enough time to spend with you. They will adjust and work around their schedule to make sure they are spending time with you. With technology, there is no excuse. They can practically be in outer space and still talk to you on some type of video chat. There is no excuse. If you are dating or considering dating someone and they can’t give you the time you need, don’t give them anymore of your time!


With that being said, don’t confuse texting with time and attention. Don’t over do it. It’s cool to send texts and emails when you can’t talk on the phone. However, there is nothing like face to face or voice to voice conversations. Texts can be misconstrued, and someone can be doing multiple things while also texting. Make sure you actually talk to them often enough to where it’s consistent.


3.) Watch The Excuses

If they’re always making excuses for their actions, be careful. It can start small, but the small things add up. If you notice a pattern, pay close attention to it. If they’re constantly talking about an ex whether good or bad, it still warrants attention. There could be an unhealthy soul tie still there. If they don’t do what they say they were going to do fairly often, that’s a red flag.


If they are making all these excuses now, they will just get more comfortable in the excuses if you don’t say something about it. Your time is valuable, and you should see it as such. If they get defensive when you try to bring certain things up, watch that closely as well. Yes, some people are a bit sensitive on certain topics, but it’s obviously an area that needs healing. However, for others, it’s an area where something may be hidden.


In the meantime, watch and pray. Dating doesn’t have to be complex. You just want to make sure your time is valued and that both of you have the same end goal. You will get to the 1, but thank God for opening your eyes to also know if they aren’t the 1.


P.S. I am starting a 4 week course that begins next Monday, August 8th entitled, “Getting Your House In Order.” This 4 week course is a foundational course to get to the root of why your life is on hold in any area. This will help you identify it, eradicate it and move forward to be all God called you to be and have all God wants you to have. You will want and need to be a part of this. Invest in yourself! The registration link is below.

Getting Your House In Order


As always, remember that you are Single For 1! That is all for now.

Your Relationship Advisor,

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