3 Things Not To Do If You Want To Get Married

November 19, 2015 at 9:00 am


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I have often talked about things to do pertaining to relationships, but it’s also important to know some things not to do. I understand that getting married is something most of you desire, but as I have often stated, getting married is not a goal if it’s God ordained. Marriage is not a goal when God has chosen someone for you, but it becomes a part of your divine destiny!


Keep in mind that we’re not working from the place of if you will get married, but we’re coming from the place that you will get married. So, as you continue on this journey, I have outlined 3 things not to do if you want to get married.


1.) Don’t Put Yourself Out There

I know this sounds like it doesn’t make sense b/c you may be thinking how can you meet the one if you’re not out there. Well, there is a difference when you’re trying to be seen as opposed to God making you seen. You don’t need to put yourself out there to be seen by someone! When you’re doing God’s will, He will put you on display for the right 1! Too many have focused on trying to be seen. That only attracts unwanted attention. You may get enough unwanted attention already, so you don’t want to add on to it.


Am I saying sit around home all the time doing nothing? No. I’m saying you don’t have to take all those extra measures to “put yourself out there.” I scroll through social media and I can easily detect who is indirectly or directly putting themselves out there. The status updates or pictures often tell it all.


So, imagine how much information can be gathered by someone who is not right for you. They should not know your weakness, frustrations, etc. just by scrolling through social media. If employers can determine things from your social media platforms, certainly someone who may be interested can determine things.


Just like some of the most expensive clothes never have to go on sale b/c people will still buy them regardless, you certainly don’t need to become accessible to just anyone. You shouldn’t be easy to access to where just anyone can get to you. It doesn’t mean you’re playing hard to get, but it means you’re not on a level to where any person with a personality can get to you. It would require someone with high enough standards to access you, and I’m talking from a spiritual perspective and natural perspective.


2.) Don’t Curse Yourself

Don’t curse yourself. You must understand that your words are very powerful. Scripture tells us that “death and life is in the power of your tongue.” Your words hold more power than you realize, so you should speak life over your relationships, not death. If you have spoken negative things about your love life, you need to cast those words down now b/c they grow like a seed.


If you have said things like, “I’ll never get married,” “there is no one for me,” “I’m done dating,” “I’m sick of men/women,” etc., then you need to cancel those curses that you spoke. You may think it’s harmless, but trust me when I say demons are waiting for ammo such as that to use against you.


I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it gets frustrating at times. I understand totally. However, don’t allow those frustrations get the best of you. Remember, we’re not talking about if you will get married b/c we are set on the fact that you will get married. So, you need to shift to the mindset of faith knowing that you will get married.


When you’re confident that God has 1 for you, you will no longer allow doubt to tell you anything different! Speak blessings over your future. Declare things about your future. Declare great things about your future marriage regardless of what you see now b/c your words are seeds and faith will produce in your life!


3.) Don’t Be Tied To A Backup Plan

If you still have someone hanging around who you see as a standby or someone you are keeping around just in case, you are setting yourself up for trouble. You can’t effectively move forward if you’re still holding on to someone else. Some of you have that person who you said if you aren’t married by a certain time, you will get with them. You don’t need a backup plan when you’re in God pertaining to love.


The backup plan is your plan, not God’s plan for your love life. If you still have that person that you go on dates with from time to time or they pop up from time to time and you both spend time together or have even been intimate, you are setting yourself up for trouble. You don’t want a soul tie to be created b/c I assure you that it will impact your next relationship if it’s not severed whether you see it or not. The enemy always tries to work behind the scenes.


So, if you have that backup plan, you need to plan to part ways. If fear of being alone is keeping them around, that’s another trap of the enemy. You know what you need to cut off, and you need to do it! If it’s hard, as I know it is for some, you need to pray to God for strength to do what needs to be done.


In the meantime, continue to seek God’s will. Continue to demonstrate God’s love in your daily living and in due time, the 1 will be right in front of you!


As always, remember that you are Single For 1! That is all for now.

Your Relationship Advisor,

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