I’m Tired of Waiting For You

There are times when dating when things don’t go according to plan. You may have found yourself in a certain position where you have been either waiting for someone to fully commit or waiting for someone to show that they’re interested in you. Wherever you find yourself on the dating journey, don’t give all of your time to someone who has shown you that you are not priority!

Commitment is not difficult if a person is serious about building a future with you. Of course, you want them to be the 1 God has ordained you to be with. However, even in those situations, it’s not an automatic that both parties will do what needs to be done. The same rules apply. God can say they are the 1, but they still must do their part. A relationship doesn’t run itself.

If you or someone you know is in a situation where they have committed all of their time to someone who has yet to truly show they are committed, it’s time to put it all on the table. I don’t want to hear the same old excuse about how this situation is different. Commitment is commitment, and it’s very clear. Saying nice words doesn’t make someone committed.

Talking about a future for years but nothing has changed doesn’t mean commitment. Living together before you’re married doesn’t mean commitment. Them saying the same thing over and over again about give it some time doesn’t mean commitment. There is a difference b/w someone having an interest in you to actually being fully committed! Don’t let someone drag you along! They may have invested some, but they haven’t invested all into you until they’re fully committed! 

Even if you have kids with them, it doesn’t make them fully committed. If you’re in the situation, don’t hold yourself hostage for the sake of the kids. The kids aren’t benefiting from a broken situation that you try to make look pretty. Happiness and sadness can be felt. Just because you’re playing house doesn’t mean commitment. If they can do all of that, what is stopping them from marrying you? Ask yourself that question. If you’re dealing with it, I’m sure you have asked that question or thought about it a million times already. However, for the sake of  “peace,” perhaps you have chosen not to bring it up anymore b/c it only causes an argument.

You have to know your worth. If you know it like you say you do, you will eventually say enough is enough. Is it an easy situation to deal with? Of course not, but how many more years will you allow to go by with the same results? You may feel like they’re the 1. They may even be the 1, but the 1 still has to do their part. Relationships still require 2 individuals working together towards a common goal.

It saddens me to see this epidemic going on. You don’t deserve this. Your friend who may be in this situation doesn’t deserve this. Sure, you should stay optimistic, but be careful. Don’t confuse insanity with optimism! God didn’t make you a fool! You have too many great years ahead to waste on someone who won’t commit!

That’s usually a strong indicator that they’re not the 1. Of course that would be a tough pill to swallow to come to grips with that potential reality. The enemy is already fighting hard against God ordained marriages, so you don’t want to give them a free pass by being with someone God has said and is saying no too.

Yes, you may have invested a lot of time in them. Yes, they may have some great qualities that you like, but it doesn’t automatically make them the 1. Not only that, for some of you, you’re holding onto what was. You’re looking at how they used to treat you. However, now it’s inconsistent.

Yes you love them, but do they love you the way you’re supposed to be loved? Do they love you like you need to be loved? Do they cherish you like they should? They might respect you as a person, but are they truly respecting the relationship?

You have to start asking the tough questions. If you’re not in this situation, I’m sure you know someone who is or has gone through it. You don’t deserve to spend any more years unhappy or being numb to the situation any longer. Don’t keep accepting the same thing over and over again or allow fear to hold you hostage.

In the meantime, realize that you deserve joy. You deserve to be loved unconditionally b/c it’s what God wants for you. So, don’t sit back and let life pass you by. You deserve better than what you have received and you will get better!

As always, remember that you are Single For 1! That is all for now.

Your Relationship Advisor,