What Am I Doing Wrong When It Comes To Dating?

September 8, 2016 at 9:00 am

right way wrong way

When relationships don’t quite go the way you planned or you’re getting to know someone and it doesn’t go in the direction you thought, it could be disappointing. At times you may begin to wonder if you’re doing something wrong or if maybe there are some things that need to be changed. However, it’s not that you’re doing something wrong. It could very well be that you’re doing the right thing.


The sooner you find out if someone is the one or not, the better. The more time and emotions that gets caught up with a person can create a deeper wound if they aren’t the 1. You could very well be out of the relationship but those soul wounds can still speak very loudly. Oftentimes, it impacts the next relationship or potential relationship if those wounds were not addressed. I remember getting a message from an ex once stating that they went on a date for the 1st time since our relationship and they just couldn’t do it. That was a soul wound. I know the feeling all too well from past experiences.


Perhaps you have been in a situation with an ex or someone you were interested in and the thought of them being in a relationship with someone else makes you cringe; especially if there is still an emotional attachment. Again, I have experienced this more than I care to remember. All in all, you must still recognize that you’re not doing something wrong. You’re not messing things up.


One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to think that you can make a relationship work. You can’t make someone be who you want them to be or do what you want them to do. It is not a recipe for a good relationship. Certainly don’t change to fit what you think someone else wants you to be. You may very well know this but it’s another thing to apply it when you’re in the situation.


Yes, you should have grown from the last relationship or potential relationship. You should have grown forward, not allowing the experience to cause you to look through a negative lens. The best thing you can do is to be the best you. The relationship didn’t end because of what you did or didn’t do. It’s rare that it was just an isolated incident. Perhaps you ended it b/c of certain things. However, it’s not what you’re doing wrong.


If you feel like you continue to attract the same type of person that’s not good for you, you literally need to do some soul searching and when I say soul searching, I’m talking about praying to God to open your eyes to the wounds in your soul so that you won’t keep attracting the same type of people. A wounded soul not only attracts what you don’t need, but it can also repel what you need in a relationship.


If there are areas that you know you need to work on, then that’s an opportunity for self development. We all are always growing. Dating is not complicated at all. Sometimes people make it complicated. When you are authentically you and you meet the authentic them, that’s a great starting point. Ultimately, you still must seek God as to if they’re the 1 or not.


I won’t harp on the obvious red flags, but there are also great things that you may see in a person. However, you still need to seek God as to if they’re the 1. Yes, the choice must be made to obey and of course, they must see it too. I say it often, just because they’re good to you doesn’t mean they’re the 1 for you! A good thing doesn’t mean it’s the God thing. God could have even better. That’s why you must pray. You can’t get around it.


In the meantime, pray in advance so that you won’t run the extra risk of allowing your emotions to do the talking. So, the question is not what are you doing wrong, but we should ask, what are you doing right? When you are doing the right thing, it always shines a light on the wrong thing!


As always, remember that you are Single For 1! That is all for now.

Your Relationship Advisor,

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